Many of my clients who attend couples therapy, I say that your partner has changed, like the spark he had in your relationship, but that spark is gone from your relationship, and not sure what to do to get that spark.
The relationships are like a house somehow. Move to a new home because you want to change things, you canasado of the same. Then you move, you may decorate or make changes to the decor or garden. Slowly but surely, all living at home becomes routine.
What to do when the spark is gone from your relationship?
Every time you pay less attention to make changes or re-shape it. The house is currently in a phase of more care and maintenance. Of course now we’re all busy, so we forget to call the plumber to fix the leaky faucet, and there you forget the roof.
Until one day we notice a leak or problems at home causes a crisis. You realize that by not being careful at this stage of care and maintenance then you’re managing crisis, the same thing happens in relationships.
The spark in relationships is, in part, a chemical in the brain called dopamine (the feel good hormone that enables) and something like the song (and maybe a little romantic anti) «Love is a drug» .
While we have a ‘high’ at the beginning of the relationship gradually develops a tolerance and that jolt like lightning every time you see your partner is. The key is to move toward union of love. A bond that grows through shared experience, is trust, respect and growth.
Perhaps the first steps to change your relationship for the better, is to try honestly to your partner. How do you feel? Do you think that the relationship must be restarted? What are the things you want to change and must change? All these factors are very important for what to do next.
It may seem obvious, but it’s definitely a relationship of two people and change the relationship will require hard work and commitment of both. It is difficult to force someone to change, since it may suffer or bother you, that’s why I speak and listen is so important to reignite the spark in your relationship.
Many couples realize that marriage counseling can help a lot with this problem in the early stages. Speaking and realize that your partner may feel very threatened or endangered – even criticized is important to address the difficulties with a nonjudgmental approach, remember that your goal at this point is to not feel guilty.
When the spark is gone from your relationship to want to return and should return to the stage of being in love and remember
An excellent step to take is to remember how they fell in love and what they experienced in the early days. What do you remember the good old days? Intimacy also helps ofcourse, remember that intimacy is not only sex, but rather a series of things and touches between them, cuddling on the couch, holding hands, even kissing in public.
Send perhaps an unexpected text message, expressing love for your partner or leave a night out to enjoy their company, all help create that sense of a loving relationship.
To make the spark back into your relationship there is no magic, all is in you
In conclusion, remember that there is no magic pill or a single thing you can do to fix your relationship. Both need to take responsibility for maintaining the health of the relationship and it takes time to build trust and long-term love.
Perhaps a good start is couples therapy to begin walking the right path. You may not get back the spark, but you can definitely have a long-term affair.
PS: Do not forget to leave your comments, tell us what you think about these tips …! Your opinion is very important to the community. 😉