If you want to get your ex back, your instinct will tell you to do everything in your power to try to get your ex back as soon as possible.
Your instinct will make you think things like,
– The sooner I get my ex back, the sooner this pain will disappear.
– If I don’t get my ex back as soon as possible, he will move on or look for someone else.
These types of thoughts make a lot of sense to a panicked mind grieving a breakup. But it’s actually much better to wait after a breakup. Wait until you calm down and find out if your ex is really the right person for you.
Why should you wait before trying to get your ex back?
Reason 1: Your addiction to your ex and the relationship.
Did you know that breakup pain is associated with the same part of your brain as drug addiction? Do you know that some people say they are addicted to their partner? Well, this addiction is very real. And the best way to manage any addiction is to stay away from the drug.
I know you want your ex back and you don’t see any point in staying away from him or her when all you want is to end up in his or her arms. But do you really think it’s the healthiest option for you? You have to be sure whether or not you love your ex before you get back together.
YOU CAN READ: How to Rekindle a Relationship with Your Ex
There is no point in returning to a harmful addiction when it is no longer in your life. How can you determine if you want to get back together again for the right reasons? Here are some points to help you move forward.
– Remember the relationship with your ex. Remember the time you spent together. When you were together, did you feel good or was there insecurity? If you felt insecure when you were with your ex, you are probably addicted to him or her. On the other hand, if your ex made you feel safe, happy, and confident, then there’s a chance they’re worth getting back into.
– Do you hate loneliness? Does waking up with no one in the morning make you feel very bad? Does seeing other couples make you wish your ex was here with you right now? If so, chances are you are simply addicted to being in a relationship. There is nothing special about your ex that makes you want to come back.
– Do you think about your ex all the time, completely ignoring your life goals, your career, your health and your dream? If so, then you are simply suffering from grief. It is a completely normal reaction to a breakup.
In reality, your ex is the reason you are in this chaos. He is very similar to a heroin addict who suffers withdrawal symptoms after quitting smoking. They feel that the only thing that can help them feel better is heroin. Actually, it’s the heroin that made them feel this way in the first place.
Reason 2: Your mental health.
As we said before, you are not very capable of making big decisions in life after a breakup. You need to take some time off to get back together.
The person who has just been abandoned by the love of their life often becomes needy and desperate. Actually, it’s not her fault, it’s everyone’s instinct to act this way. Every action they take and every word that comes out of their mouth reeks of neediness and insecurity from a mile away.
This necessity is extremely unattractive. Your ex probably already has plenty of reasons for not being with you (maybe neediness and insecurity was one of them), and if you show him your needy, insecure, and desperate side, he’ll be more likely to pull away further.
If you take 30 days off to work on yourself and become a happy person, you will actually have much more confidence and security. And just like before, you will show confidence and happiness on your face that your ex will immediately notice.
Reason 3: Your ex and your post-breakup relationship dynamics.
Your ex has probably broken up with you. Even if you broke up with your ex, you wanted to get back but your ex rejected you. In any case, your ex is the one who has all the power in the post-breakup relationship. You are the one who misses your ex so much and thinks about it all the time.
If you wanted to get over the breakup and move on, he would have told you not to worry about the post-breakup relationship and just move on with your life. But since you want your ex back, it’s helpful to keep this post-breakup relationship in mind.
If you tried calling your ex, texting, begging, or anything that shows desperation and need, then your ex controls this post-breakup relationship. However, by simply stopping contact with your ex, you are restoring balance to this push-and-pull dynamic.
YOU CAN READ: HOW TO Increase THE TIME You Spend TALKING To Your EX
In most cases, your ex is almost as miserable after the breakup as you are. It’s just that you, you may have made him feel that he can have you whenever he wants; as if he had all the power.
Even though you are hurt by the breakup, the fact that he can get you back any time he wants may have made it a little easier for him to deal with the pain of the breakup. Keep in mind that it’s best not to make contact so that you can both take some time and space apart and get some perspective.
By cutting off contact with your ex, you are giving your ex what he wanted. A break up. A life without you in it. And it’s not bad (even if you want to get your relationship back with your ex). When you create space between the two of you, it will give both of you perspective on the breakup, your relationship, and how you really feel about each other.
