Okay, so you’ve taken the first step by contacting your ex after going no contact. Your ex has responded positively and you plan to continue texting to rebuild attraction, connection, and trust with your ex.
If you’ve done everything right so far, the next part should be easy for you. Here’s a breakdown of things you should keep in mind.
Slowly increase the time you spend talking to your ex.
When you contact your ex for the first time after going no contact, you probably want to keep things calm. Once you send a first message, you should go back a few days and text him again. But this time he seeks to talk a little longer.
– The next time you talk, you will want the conversation to last a little longer.
Do this slowly and steadily so that your ex gets used to talking to you again. You want me to talk to you first thing in the morning and before you go to bed. You want them to feel like lovers. But that won’t happen unless things get up close and personal.
– Increases the intensity of the conversation.
You can’t always keep conversations happy. You want your ex to feel a strong connection with you. And no one feels a connection with someone they only have casual conversations with. You talk about your feelings and encourage her to talk to you about her feelings. You talk about your fears, desires, successes and failures. You open up to your ex and are vulnerable.
– Take the conversation to a more personal medium.
You should strive to be more and more personal. If you just email him right after no contact, you should text him after a couple of weeks.
If you’ve been texting for a few weeks, you should try making a phone call. If you’ve been talking on the phone, you should try meeting him or her or have a video call (if you’re in a long-distance relationship). Always strive to move forward. But do it slowly and subtly.
– What to do if your ex wants friendship after not having contact?
Many people are afraid of ending up in the friend zone with their ex. But in my experience, if your ex wants to be your friend, it is a good sign since that means that she still respects you and wants you around her.
And the more time you spend with him or her, the more opportunities you will have to build attraction, connect with your ex, and break down the defenses she has to get back together. As long as there is sexual chemistry between you and your ex, you will never truly be friends with her.
And if you have confidence and the right mindset about it, your ex will find you an attractive person; both sexually and emotionally. The most important thing to keep in mind is your own mental well-being.
Conversations should be difficult too.
Your ex may be talking to you normally and might even be showing some signs that she still loves you or wants you back. But in most cases, your ex will still have a lot of doubts about wanting to get back together. Those doubts need to be addressed, and you need to do so effectively.
Remember how we talked about having the right skills and tools to get your ex back? This is where it comes into play. If you have the ability to communicate effectively in a relationship, this part will be easy for you.
Plus, if you’ve done the legwork, meaning you’ve become a more confident, attractive, successful, and, above all, better person, then you’re already halfway there.
Many make the mistake of trying to avoid these serious issues that are probably bothering their ex. Issues that were probably the reason they broke up in the first place.
If you avoid talking about these topics, your ex will likely think that nothing has changed. If you change the subject every time something serious comes up, she will make you look weak and desperate. Avoiding any type of serious conversation with your ex will push your ex away.
Think about it this way, if you’re avoiding a serious conversation with your ex, you’re probably doing it out of fear. Fear of losing your ex. And like I said before, fear will not bring them together again. Only love can. Instead of acting out of fear, she acts out of love. Show empathy and understanding by communicating.
YOU CAN READ: The Power of SILENCE After Your Ex’s REJECTION
You must learn to talk about these delicate topics in a calm and rational way. If you remain calm and confident when talking about these topics, you will show your ex that you have truly become a better version of yourself as a person.
Another thing to keep in mind is that you should never end these serious conversations by talking about getting back together. “Hey, I’ve solved all the problems and now things will be different. Do you want to get back together? No.
If you talk about getting back together after you’ve had a conversation about a serious problem between you and your ex, you end up making it seem like you’ve only changed to get back together. This makes everything you have done so far manipulative and insincere.
