Today we are going to talk about whether you made a mistake with the no contact rule, and specifically what happens: can it work a second time? Or third time…?
If you are implementing a No contact rule to try to recover your ex, you must be sure of knowing exactly how the process works, to achieve success. Alright, let’s go to the details now.
1. Can the no contact rule work twice?
The short answer is, YES it can, but it will lose part of its impact. Through our own investigation, we have discovered that 8 out of 10 people who use the No Contact Rule to recover their ex do not meet their No Contact period.
But what does it mean to make a mistake? Simply put, it means that during the period of the no contact rule, you contact your ex, or your ex contacts you, and you respond. (If contact with your ex is inevitable because, say, they work together, you should adapt the No Contact Rule to a limited contact rule.)
2. Here are all the mistakes of the no contact rule:
– You send him a text message because it’s his birthday.
– You go to a place that you know it could be and you run into your ex.
– A family member (from you or your ex) is sick and you want to talk to him or her about it.
– Check your social networks or stalks.
– You like one of your posts or like a post.
– You appear unexpectedly and start a conversation beyond the minimum.
– You think he has been dating another person and you want to tell him that you are very angry.
– You have had too many drinks and you send him a Snapchat
– Your ex sends you a message saying «I wish I could see you» and you respond.
– He sends you a negative message saying «Why do you ignore me? And you answer.
– He sends you a natural message and says «Hello» and you respond.
– A friend tells you that he wants to talk to you, so you send him a message.
– You talk about breaking up with a mutual friend, or a family member.
– All this applies to any gender. man and woman!
3. Do not respond and do not start.
If you are obliged to talk face-to-face with your ex, respond in an optimistic tone, but do not ask questions (not even «How are you?») And cut the conversation as soon as possible with education. The idea is to make him wonder why you don’t get in touch, so if it’s his birthday and you usually send him a message, silence will make him question.
Remember that the period of the no contact rule does not last forever. Do not extend it without reasons when you have to restart it.
4. Do you have strong reasons to break the no contact rule?
If you live / work / study together, or have children together, review in another article how to work the Limited No Contact Rule.
Your best chance to get your ex back begins with a meticulously planned and executed no contact rule. However, we will assume that you are reading this because you have breached your No Contact Rule. You have contacted your ex, or have responded when contacted. There is a fairly strict protocol if you do this.
First things first: it is correct, you must restart it. Again yes, from day 1.
But what happens if you break the Rule five times, six times … can it still be effective? Your period of absence of contact will be as effective as possible, say it is 100% effective. You will make the most of everything you can.
But let’s say it’s the second time you broke the first. Then you will lose some of its effectiveness. Not totally, but instead of being 100% effective, it will be around 90% effective. The next time you break it, you will lose another 10% effectiveness, and so on to zero. Every time you have to reset the rule because you made a mistake, the no contact rule will lose effectiveness.
Remember that staying with the contactless gives your ex time to calm down, remember the good things about the relationship and miss your closeness. If you interrupt the rule and restart it, you don’t give your ex the chance to recover. So comply with your 100% No Contact Rule to get the beneficial effect it will have on your life, with or without your ex on it. Make this your number one priority.
Now I’m going to give you my three best tips so you don’t break your no contact rule because I really want you to succeed.
1: Change your ex’s name on your phone.
Try changing your ex’s name to:
Ex – Do not contact.
Not just not!
I will not help you
Forget it, forget it!
If you are tempted to approach your ex, these names will also make you pause for a second, which could be enough to prevent you from breaking your No Contact Rule.
2: Block your ex’s phone number.
This tip is the end of the spectrum. Essentially, what you are doing here is that you are blocking your ex’s phone number to eliminate any temptation to respond to any message that may arrive or to communicate with your ex.
Keep in mind that you are not blocking your ex forever, only during the period of your no contact rule, so it can be 21, 30 or 45 days. After that, you unlock to move on to the next stage of the process.
3: Delete your number and give it to a trusted friend.
You will give your ex’s number to a trusted friend and then delete it from all your devices. Tell that friend to return your number when your period of the no contact rule has ended.
Those are my three best tips so you can stay true to the Period without contact. And here is an extra tip:
Additional tip: Stop following your ex on social media.
The no contact rule, of course, does not end with direct contact. You are also not allowed to watch your ex or your family’s social networks. This includes commenting, not even to wish you a happy birthday, or even a message. Total silence.
The best way to do this is to stop following your ex on all the social media platforms he shares. Why are you doing this? The pain of seeing your ex (seemingly) go on with his life, not missing you, maybe even dating someone else, isn’t worth it. This is one of the most difficult parts of No Contact, so make it easier for you, so you can’t easily give in to temptation.
An important part of the no contact rule is to work on yourself, distance yourself from the pain and negative emotions currently associated with your ex and recover your emotional stability. Follow your no contact rule no matter what!