Today in the morning when I opened my Twitter I found several very nice things and a very useful, Pax and @ lamadela sent me an excellent question, a question that I must admit I had not raised ever: «what it means for you femininity?» wow, seems so simple, so obvious, like to know what it means to your name…
Total once I thought awhile I answered «femininity is the magic that there be strong, independent women and sexy without showing vulnerability and the need to be protected for me, is much sensuality with that.»
While I do believe all that I wrote, is much more complex that the femininity, is something personal and different for everyone, it goes much further than use dress, high heels, long hair and makeup. I think that it also goes beyond using a soft tone, not to say profanity and be «well-behaved».
We live in a time of no alternative options: can be Executive, Vice President, CEO, CFO. Ah, but the of to the side just get married, your cousin has just taken their second infant You can choose what you want and both will be wrong views, both sacrificing your professional life as the staff (note that I said to sacrifice). It is a choice, but in the grumbling of others, is a sacrifice: «poor, is very successful, brilliant, works a lot and travel a lot for your work, but do not last you for the bride and groom…»
There is also who does two things, they have professional success, a husband and children, and any problems with the children: «clear, MOM does not cares, how it is not going to happen the child ill…»
And pa finish is that goes to work and the husband is left with the children, by agreement between both and then the comment is: «is that the poor will play a wey mantenido…el does not work, it’s going in the House and her leaving the back!»
To that I was referring to the world full of no alternative options (this also affects males much, but right now is not the point), you do what you do is wrong, you are going to judge, and that causes you to lose contact with your femininity. In this world is very much appreciates the decisive nature, the people who put goals, which achieves objectives, giving results. These are very male characteristics among which it is very easy to get lost.
Any way I suggest you cease to be any of those things, in fact I’m not suggesting anything, I’m something like this as reflecting and thinking out loud.
I reflect that noting the labour and professional pressure as just that and not allowing that pass the door of our home or our personal life, would we be much more easy to find with our femininity. When the women we are magical beings, really I think, we can do several things at once (multitask); be focused, tender, be alert, caring for the children, etc. And when you divides your day when you did 20 small activities, you feel that you did not nothing. And your husband arrives and tells you that it closed a contract of X, that it feels significant. Everything is significant and everything is important.
I realize that the first time that I truly felt my femininity and permission whatsoever of being a woman was still pregnant, because it is something that becomes clear to the «female» and that the vulnerable party in women. And I say this permission because I was not wrong of to carry me my things that help me with heavy things, that I would give chairs (even on boards of the Office). Everyone smiled me, acquaintances, strangers and people that you see everyday, but you do not know what it’s called.
A pregnant woman causes much tenderness, wishes to protect and care for. Women who always saw me ugly (I have a rather strong gesture) when I was pregnant ran to open the elevator, help me with my bag or records brought the loading. At the time that I gave birth and he no longer had that panza, everything returned to normal! Why? I think it’s because I saw no longer vulnerable.
I would like to leave archi-super-duper-clear that I do not think you have to get pregnant you or be a mother to find your femininity, only spoke of the day I made me aware of my own. There are highly feminine women who are not mothers.
How to find the balance? How to protect us and at the same time show vulnerability?
It is, to me, give me account that my vulnerability and concern for protection not minimize my strength, my professionalism or my sensuality. It complements.
So far I love that they have made me think on the matter. Thank you!!!