If your marriage has some signs of divorce and you feel that you are still in time to save it, I assure you that this article can help you a lot. When a couple decides to marry, they do so in order to spend the rest of their lives together, to the surprise of one or both parties, somewhere along the way that primary objective is lost and one day they are no longer tolerated. They believe that the best thing for both of them is to get a divorce.
Many couples do the same thing. At first it seemed very easy to imagine waking up next to your loved one every morning for the rest of their lives, come home from work and sit down and talk about how the day has gone, help in solving problems at home, have children and watch them grow up.
that they leave home and endure with humility and patience the occasional bad humor of their love, among so many other marital challenges, but after a while living with whom they love becomes too heavy.
Awakening by your side has lost the magic, you come from work so tired and so angry that you get even with your partner, some years pass and the children do not arrive or the upbringing is not as wonderful as they thought, and to complete there is not so much patience to hold claims (sometimes) without foundation, result: exhaustion of affection and marital boredom.
Yes, saving a marriage in months after years of devastating details seems impossible and maybe it is, but you can always try to save it and not lose anything in the attempt. Because of that, I will present below some resources that you can use to try to save your marital relationship even if they have already asked for a divorce.
Do not pray
He has told you that he wants to divorce, maybe your reaction is to cry, ask for reasons, send text messages or even blackmail him, DO NOT DO IT! If you want to save your relationship, do not do it because the result will be adverse.
Just let him do whatever he likes. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine that you are the one who has asked for a divorce and who does not claim anything or anything, what would be your reaction? Disconcert, uncertainty perhaps. I expected that you will react in a «hysterical» way as always but not, then you will start to think about whether you are doing the right thing. That is the first step.
Examination of conscience
For a marriage to end it takes two; However, it is the other person who has said: «I can not take it anymore», then you proceed to analyze about WHAT YOU HAVE DONE SO THAT YOU HAVE ARRIVED UNTIL THAT POINT, (that’s why you can only think for yourself)
Take some time to think how much guilt you have to reach that decision, then pencil and notebook in hand write all the mental impressions you have had; Perhaps on your list you will find: unfounded jealousy, arguments over minutiae, disavowing it in front of your children, not being so perceptive about your problems, about financial exigencies (for example).
Ready in hand and how they still have to live together while the papers arrive, take advantage of the moment and CHANGE! and this time seriously. You are aware of what you have not done or have done wrong and CHANGE IT, that is the first step to the task of saving your marriage.
Improve your communication skills
The art of communication is essential to get along. What happens is that many forget that this is two-way: the enunciator (speaks) and the receiver (the listener). In their place both speak and (sometimes) shout at the same time in a vain attempt to have the reason.
During those confrontations many things are said, and usually what is expressed is what bothers or hurts the other to do, but in that coming and going of reasons the objective is lost and impotence and fights are reached.
This is something difficult to change, but it is not impossible. The formula is to CHANGE THE FORM IN WHICH YOU REACT TO A COMMUNICATIVE ATTEMPT, example:
CALLA and LISTEN, if before you did not do it now that will generate a reaction in your partner, then ask to listen to you (it is your right), if he starts to shout then he shuts up or speaks very softly, that will make him stop doing whatever I am doing and I listen to you once and for all. Do it until it gives results.
Read 21 things that men do not understand about women
Distract yourself and take some time for yourself
There is something strange sometimes in couples, they want to divorce and put space between them and the person they say they no longer love, but when that person they «no longer love» takes back the reins of their life, they start to fix a lot more that before, she worries about having time for herself taking some course or resuming the studies that she left halfway when she got married, that’s when they are questioned about what might happen.