Violence in a relationship has multiple facets. One of them is emotional violence. This type of violence does not leave us physical wounds but it does hurt us deeply within, in the soul, self-esteem and confidence in ourselves.
One of the forms of emotional violence is the lack of love. Millions of people today are trapped in relationships that are just a shell, an empty stage of love.
This is a huge mistake. Love, the relationship of a couple is to enjoy it, not suffer it. No one is obliged to stay with someone who does not want to. However, many do. Why?
The fatal resignation.
Women are more vulnerable than men to violence due to lack of love, although they are not the only ones. A person who feels disqualified and devalued by his or her partner, enters into a state of habituation after a period in which he sees how his protests or attempts to be valued disappear.
This state of accent is very damaging. He who is accustomed to not being loved or valued loses faith in himself and begins not to love himself. What follows is a probable depression and state of emotional stress.
Feeling less than the other, the panic begins to be abandoned. That leads to a submission that further deepens the feeling of being inferior or worthy of love.
The member of the couple who suffers heartbreak is able to do anything because the other pay attention, the relationship becomes toxic and vicious.
It is not only the «subject» who gets sick in the relationship. The other member feels that the environment is suffocating and his partner depends on each of his reactions or opinions.
This servile dependence begins to disagree deeply, and there is an even greater estrangement, which triggers the subject more distress, more submission and more pressure for the relationship.
Imagine a situation to exemplify the lack of love and its consequences: a woman feels alone or not satisfied with herself, or simply has a problem she wants to share with her husband. Their relationship is not good, is usually disqualified and minimized by her husband.
He still wants to share his problem with him, although he does stress because he knows what his partner’s reaction will be. Enter voluntarily in the wheel that will follow. She tries to communicate and he ignores her, rejects her, offends her or yells at her and gets angry.
He may respond with insults, disqualifications, or silence. She, fearful of being abandoned, of «tiring» the other, is enduring emotional abuse. But it accumulates resentment, anger and sadness.
This happens successively, she is uncontrollable, he attacks, she is silent. Until, in the end, she no longer counts anymore and is resigned to silence forever.
It condemns the loneliness of heartbreak within a relationship that, out doors, may seem very normal. There has been no physical assault, but this woman is devastated.
What to do in a situation of emotional abuse?
1. The first thing is to become aware that you are being mistreated and not minimize it by the absence of physical blows. Just as love gives us life and nourishes us, indifference is an authentic torture. Diseased sickness destroys the dignity and capacity of people.
2. Ask for individual professional help and couple therapy. Between the two, if there really is love to recover, you can leave the vicious circle. They will need to regain respect, trust and tenderness.
3. If there is no true love, it will be necessary to think about dissolving the couple and going through the duel. The end of love does not despair, it is the end of THAT love, but not the capacity to love. Lovelessness is a disease that must be cured or extirpated.