The five best ways to predict if your relationship will break soon What is the secret of happy couples? Not a few social researchers have raised the question, but nobody has found absolute truths.
There are couples who base their stability on affection, others are based on passion and there is someone who puts the accent on intellectual compatibility. They all have their tricks and secrets.
Love is, at the same time, a universal feeling that we can all experience, and a complex mechanism that works in different ways in each one of us. What is beyond doubt, is that couples who survive in time, while retaining love, have managed to create a complex bond, which goes beyond what any psychologist can explain in a study.
It is very difficult to know what works in love, but not so much to know what is not going well. Do you have doubts about the strength of your love? You should therefore ask yourself these questions.
1. Do you trust your partner?
Honesty is the basis of all love relationships. If this is lost, and half-truths, secrets and suspicions arise, something very important is failing. The reality is that without trust it is impossible for a relationship to be maintained over time.
To know if you really trust your partner you must ask yourself a series of questions: do you really trust her? Do you do what he promises you? Do you fulfill what you promise her?
Couples that last over time are those that know how to deal with mistrust as soon as they appear. Mistrust in the couple always appears due to a lack of communication. Generally, all situations of jealousy, or suspicions that the other person is not being completely sincere, arise from small misunderstandings that have not been stopped in time.
Sooner or later all couples experience problems of this kind. Couples that last over time are those who know how to deal with these mistrust as soon as they appear, openly raising the situation, and tackling it at the root. Unfortunately, if a distrust appears and it is not treated in time, the crack will become increasingly larger and once the lies appear the couple can be considered finished.
2. Does your personality change when you are with your partner?
We have all met someone who refused to take his girlfriend to their friends’ meetings. They are people who behave in a totally different way when they are with their partner who, probably, does not know much of their being (that which they reserve to be with their friends). Are you yourself when you are with your beloved? If the answer is no, you will end up hurting your partner and the end of it will be inevitable.
3. Can you live prolonged moments of intimacy with your partner without getting bored?
To know if our love really works, we must consider if we cover these four dimensions of intimacy. It is possible that we fail in some of them and we can work to fix it, but if we fail in all we are facing a real problem.
It is the most obvious of all. It includes hugs, kisses, caresses and, of course, sex, which is the ultimate expression of physical intimacy. Although it is natural that the frequency with which we have sex decreases over time, the absolute disappearance of these is a clear sign that something is failing in the couple.
Emotional intimacy is what allows us to express our feelings to our partner. If we fail to answer questions like «what are you doing?» Or «how do you feel?» We fail at this point. If you do not know how to express openly the love you feel for your partner is that, perhaps, you do not feel it.
Mental compatibility is one of the best kept secrets of couples who endure together for a long time. Being able to discuss political, cultural or philosophical issues is one of the best tools of happy couples, those who never get bored when they are alone.
Healthy couples are those who can do all kinds of things without one of the parties being terribly bored. Love is, after all, a way to enjoy life in company. It does not matter the type of activity. There are couples who have fun cooking, traveling, playing sports or playing in a band. The important thing is that there are a series of activities that you can enjoy in company.
4. Do you know how to communicate correctly with your partner?
In your book, what does divorce predict? (Routledge), the psychologist John Gottman, one of the most renowned students of love relationships, pointed to a strong conclusion: the biggest indicator that a couple is going to divorce is that one of the parties (or both) shows contempt towards their couple.
If we do not know how to treat problems, we will enter into a spiral of anger and reproach that, sooner or later, will end the relationship. Saber dialogue with the couple is an essential requirement to successfully resolve conflicts and for love to endure over time. If we do not know how to deal with problems, we will enter into a spiral of anger and reproach that, sooner or later, will end the relationship.
The linguist Sebastia Serrano, explained in an interview with El Confidencial, that as soon as expressions of contempt appear in a couple, it is very difficult for it to go ahead. After all, he explains, «love is a task of communication goldsmithing», and if this fails, the couple too.
5. Do you know how to react in pairs to external adversities?
However beautiful a relationship may be, what is really going to prove it is the arrival of external problems that, at some point, it will have to face. It is quite simple to show love when life is going well, but when it is really demonstrated it is before adversities.
Unemployment, illness or death of a family member are issues that can end up with a partner, if the parties do not stay together, and if there is no support among them. Do you know how to share the bad moments with your partner, or do you just enjoy the good ones? Couples that last until death separates them are those that remain together before the setbacks of life.