It is not just for couples who are separated. Friends also lose contact, colleagues make their life, children forget to write. The process apparently is inevitable, and sometimes that’s the reality. But there are certainly reasons for greater distance.
The story of Maria and John for example. They were saturated once their children were born. Maria was a homemaker for five years, and fought with babies and toddlers. John was the sole breadwinner. He worked long hours and rarely abos had time for both.
At one point in their lives had taken routine. You were not sure you could change the siatuación. «We have different personalities,» Maria said. «We have completely different interests,» John added.
They were saying this like it was the track obstacles. In my experience, there are different personalities and different interests in the best of relationships. I knew there was something else at that distance.
The smallest details often lead to success or failure of a project … it is the same in a relationship.
The distance and how to reconnect the relationship ..
Professor Barbara Fredrickson, author of Love 2.0, studying the tiny moments in relationships and feelings. She says a strong commitment and affection are products of love, not the causes.
What makes strong relationships, not great acts of passion, but rather the «micro-moments of warmth and connection» that manifest every hour of every day.
She says these small moments constantly changing relationships over time. Small positive moments create the strong bond of connection that happy couples experience.
Here are some examples:
1. Dinner is at 7:00. Juan then gets a phone call from work and then comes home at 18:45. He goes into the other room to answer some emails last minute before sitting down to the table at 7:05.
Juan’s review the options.
* He could have ignored the call.
* It could have been directed to Maria as soon as he got home, just to give you a hug given.
* He could have kept the case and help Maria with dinner.
None of these options «happened», and how to act he was not «bad». However, he misses the opportunity to show their love and support.
2. That night Juan tells maria was tired from work. He tells her that her dream is to progress, and talks about moving to the country, build a cabin, and spend some time there.
Maria then think about what it would be isolated in a cabin outside of town, and begin to feel anxious. «That will not happen,» he says, and then preparing to go to bed.
Now Sara’s review the options.
* She could have supported John just hearing their dreams without comment.
* She could have supported, saying that she wants a more relaxed life.
* She could have said it was not the time to talk about it now, but maybe I could talk on Saturday.
Again there is no good or bad, but Mary also lost the opportunity to connect with him. These moments of choice arise all the time in a relationship.
The moments of connection.
It is not the size of the gesture, or the result. Maria does not have to agree, and John did not have to quit your job to strengthen the bond of love between them.
Rather, it is the frequency of those moments of connection, how it happen in a day. Love is something we must cultivate every morning, every afternoon and every night. Gestures of love should be given at every moment.
Maria and Juan are learning to reconnect with each other. The process can be simple … or difficult. Everyone must recognize his acts for the detachment occurs. Both have to put aside excuses, and stop waiting for the other person to change.
An effective way on how to reconnect the relationship.
The experience of Mary and John shows a distancing that occurs not only in marriage but also with boyfriends, friends and family. People often attributed it to the circumstances of life, personality or behavior of your partner.
In fact, the quality of a relationship is the sum of small decisions each person every day. Sometimes small miscalculations can be costly over time.
Opportunities to reconnect the relationship are everywhere and at all times. Once you understand this principle, you will notice that the distance is not inevitable. Every small action can help to reconnect and love.
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