Tell or not to your friend that your partner is infiel…The dilemma

Yesterday I saw a movie that left me thinking much, is called «The dilemma» and the dilemma it has the protagonist because it is the wife of his partner and best friend with another wey… do not know the time to tell your buddy that his wife deceives it. As it was his partner and they were in the middle of the most important project of his company, so he did not want to distract from that, but at the same time I felt that it betrays his friend by not telling them what they knew.

With some frequency, and the theme of this blog, people ask me if it is or not to confess an affair, if tell or not to a family member or friend that your partner is cheating and my answer is always the same: NO!

Above all others, my view is: «not you goals, just as if you had not seen anything». Why? Because it is not matter yours, you never know what happens in a marriage behind closed doors, he or she (anyone who wants to be the deluded) can seem «the most beautiful» «the best husband in the world» «the best Daddy» «the more loving» etc etc etc. What are likely to be and it may also be another string of things that we as outside observers have no clue. We all have a dark side, all and only many times our partner knows it because he lives with us. There are a myriad of things that happen before that happens an infidelidad… This does not try to justify the adultery, although does not qualify it as something that has to justify to anyone other than yourself and your partner (if necessary).

I think it is that it is does a favor to anyone to become Messenger bearer of bad news, hence the phrase «don’t kill the messenger». You are not betraying anyone let alone what you know, just in case who is betraying, is the infidel, not that learned by accident. Suppose that you are going to, and you tell your buddy or friend that your wife or husband it is «cuerniando», assume that you did not think either that you believe, her face and she or he denies that who believe that you going to believe? To the mother or father of their children or you always envy them you’ve had? Or that you want to with the or it always? To you who you are wrong in your marriage? To you who you are divorced and left? To you that your wife you cuerneó and you trauma? There are thousands of arguments…

It is also true that in many cases, the deceived in himself knows perfect what is happening, the signals are always clear. At the time that a third party makes it clear, can be much fury, much anger (which has been accumulated since the beginning to realize) that will be downloaded with whoever is around at the moment, guess who? You, the bold who decided to go with the gossip. Thing or you make it look like an idiot and cheated and betrayed. In the best case you will not be your favorite person or someone who wants to be close. Who wants to be close to a person who knows something so unpleasant and which is a continuous reminder of how bad is your marriage?

In the film the protagonist (the gossiper) returns his own life a mess because it is getting into what matters not, for spying on the wife of his friend and wanting to have evidence of how deceives it. Begins to be he who lies to your partner about their activities, that happens when you get where you do not call. If your friend, cousin, brother, friend they cheat and you did you find out, forget it, net. You do not know if it is something at once, a year relationship, something that your buddy knows and is ignoring, something that led to your friend in one way or another, etc. NO TE GOALS!

Life is already complicated enough own problems, and to want to get involved in the outside.

If you get to see in the uncomfortable position of say or not to your friend that your partner is infiel…Dilemma, don’t you be visceral and think carefully about who would do him a favor or who would benefit from learning what «you think you saw» or what «you think you know»

As I said at the beginning this is just my opinion because this is my blog, there will be who thinks different and will have their reasons. I recommend you to see the film if they are going through a similar situation, it is not any wonder, but the item if it is.


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