My wife and I spent much time together. We have gone on vacation 3 weeks together, we’re each other almost 24 hours each day. And like any other couple, we frictions from time to time, but we never tire of being together. We had to «take a break», or retreat into our respective «caves».
Why? My theory is twofold. We are able to spend so much time together, because we allow others to respect our own space (even when we are together) and because we are playful and have fun with others.
To build a relationship first the relationship of oneself
As I write this, I realized that having a relationship with someone really has more to do with having a great relationship with yourself. Think about it … if you have lots of doubts, fear and negativity in your life, what do you really have to offer the other person, and a warm body at night?
A common value that my wife and I share is that we are committed to evolve and grow as human beings first – in our work, life, spirituality and relationships. Both are continually working to be better human beings. The positive benefits of living this way are given automatically.
We are far from perfect, and still have our little problems, but I thought about what makes our relationship fun and works so well for us. This is why I have hope that my relationship advice can help you in your relationship.
Do not take life so seriously
More than a few times, I was stuck in the illusion ridiculous to take life too seriously. A recent example is when I got an attitude with my wife to be late for an appointment because first he wanted to stop at the post office to pick up a package. The woman at the post office could not find his pack and ended up passing 20 minutes searching for it. I waited in the car, frantically sent her text messages to ensure that this awareness was going to be late.
Then as he walked toward the car, I lost it. Then he got into the car and slowly sought her sunglasses and put them in the car before you start to say something. I was on fire.
This would have been the perfect time for a self-reminder not to take life so seriously. But no, I felt and I had to try to manipulate to make you feel guilty for their thoughtless actions. I was on a roll. I was taking anger and ready to let go. And all for what?
Fortunately turned on the radio and started singing.
My wife really sings when she feels that I am judging. It takes me out of my way to trial and actually makes me laugh. Open communication creates an emotional connection and bonding. The death of a relationship is when one of the couples feel unable to express themselves openly without being judged by the other.
Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances.
When you judge another, not define them, you define yourself as someone who must judge.
Relationship advice – feeling good
I have learned that feeling good is more important than holding on to resentment or anger. I see negative feelings like poison and I want out of my system as soon as possible. I am much faster now to release negative feelings. What used to take days for me is over, now I do it in minutes or seconds. I’ve learned to let go.
Always be learning
Once you stop learning, we are bored. My wife and I are always learning new things. This keeps life interesting relationship. At present, our secret is that once a week, we plan to do something new. Last week, we went to a bingo night, which none of us had done before.
Have fun no matter what you do or where these
This comes down to have fun no matter what you’re doing or where you are. This is the attitude we choose to have. This is it at random. Do what you feel like doing no matter what others think. My wife and I do this all the time, every day.
An example is when my wife went to work one morning and called me just 10 minutes after leaving. When I answered I said «hello». I was surprised and she was just calling just to say hello. Then, immediately said «goodbye» and hung up. I almost died laughing.
In addition to being random, we do a game. As we watch the previews at a movie theater, say «I» or «no».
It’s little things like this that add fun might otherwise be considered mundane.
You can not compare. Just appreciate.
When someone appreciates the work you do, or the person you are, how you feeling? Great! This is true for all of us. When I tell my wife how much I appreciate everything she does for me, she’ll want to keep doing more things for me.
When she says the wonderful man that I am, I want to always be an impressive man. Focus on the appreciation of the positive aspects of your partner and you will create more than the positive. Focus on the negatives and get over the negative. It’s your decision.
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