If you and your ex have been separated for more than a year, you need a completely different strategy to recover it. Probably many things have changed in that year and you should analyze the situation with your ex before making your move. A lot has happened in a year, and before we talk about what you should do, let’s see what accounts.
– Probably already both have gone out with other people.
– Both probably have already had sex with other people.
– Probably they have not communicated with each other for a long time.
– Your ex probably already forgot you.
– Maybe your ex is in a relationship.
All these factors will affect your strategy to recover it, but first you have to know why you want to go back to her?
Why do you want to reconcile after a year?
A year has passed and you suddenly decide that your ex was the right person for you. What happened? Why did you change your mind? Are you sure you make the right decision by wanting her back in your life?
Or is it that you never forgot it?
You never made any effort to overcome it and inside you were always in love with her since the break. If that is the case, I highly recommend that you make the effort to overcome it before trying to recover it.
Avoid contact with your ex, take care of something that makes you feel better, go out with girls and try to accept the fact that they ended. Sometimes, an obsession can last for years. And maybe you’ve been obsessed with your ex for so long that you confuse the obsession with love.
Here are some examples of when you should not go back to your ex after a year.
They finished because they fought a lot, now you do not remember it and you think it will not be like before. They finished because your ex betrayed you and now he thinks he has changed and he will not do it again. They finished because she left you for another and now she is single again. You ended up with your ex for another woman and now you’re single again.
The above examples have one thing in common and that is that the reason they ended up is genuine and nothing has changed in the last year. On the other hand, there are cases in which you genuinely realize that you and your ex had something special.
Notes that the reason they ended was not a big deal and they could have overcome it. Or maybe something changed in the last year that makes you feel that the relationship could work.
Here are some examples that come to mind.
They ended because one of you was not ready for the engagement and/or neither of you was looking for a serious relationship. They ended because one of the two did not want to have children and now both want the same thing. They ended because you had to move to another city or country and now they live in the same place.
They ended up in a small fight and the break was a hasty decision. Now things have calmed down and you realize that another opportunity can be given. If you fall into this category (or something reasonable like that), then you should try to reconcile.
Is it too late to reconcile with your ex?
One year is enough time. And it is very likely that she has already forgotten you. But that does not mean you can not get it back. You can still go back to it but you should see it as a new beginning and not as if you were reviving the flame.
Since it’s been a long time since the breakup, you do not have to worry about your ex forgetting you. In fact, you can use to your advantage the fact that both have overcome each other. If your relationship with your ex was really good, you can be sure that your ex has also thought about her. In fact, you have been comparing all your relationships with what you had.
Even if your ex has accepted the break and has probably forgotten you, still remember as something special the good times lived with you. And you can use that in your favor.
What if we had a horrible break?
The truth is, it does not matter how bad the breakup was. As a year has passed, all the negative emotions and the rage of the breakup have probably already been forgotten. In the long term, people do not cling to negative emotions.
Before contacting your Ex.
I’m assuming you have not been in contact with your ex for a while and have not seen each other. If this is not the case, I highly recommend that you implement the no contact rule for at least 30 days.
If you have not been in contact with her, you do not have to apply the no contact rule. You can continue to the next step. But before contacting your ex, you must make sure you have done 3 things that you were supposed to do during the no contact rule (discussed in this article). It is extremely important that you do this because the rest of the plan will not work until you have done it.
How to contact your ex after one year.
There are times when I recommend that you start contact with a letter. However, as it has been almost a year since the break, you should skip that step. Your initial contact with your ex should be as casual as possible. You do not want her to think you’re still thinking about breaking the old relationship.
A simple and convenient way to contact her would be through a text message. They are private, minimally invasive and very effective. You must start with a message that shows that you remember it, but that you already surpassed it.
You should treat her like an old friend and not like an old girlfriend. This is a simple text message that works very well. “Hello Laura. I was reviewing some old photos and I remembered you. So I thought about asking you how you are. ”
It is casual and delivers the message. If you have not been in contact with her for a while, you will probably receive a response from her to this message. You must make sure that things are friendly at the beginning. You should try to create attraction with her in the message.
When you feel the oven is hot, you throw the first blow. Invite her to a coffee. If you agree to have a coffee with you, you can take that as a date. Have fun and show how much you have changed this year and how good a partner you would be for her.
You must make sure you do not force things. In fact, you do not have to talk about reconciliation until at least the fourth date. You should take it as slow as possible. Ideally, it is better that reconciliation be her idea. And if you have done all the right steps, she will soon begin to think about reconciliation.