The end of a relationship is always painful. What now?, You wonder.
You do not want to watch movies because there are too many romantic comedies of “boy meets a girl and lived happily ever after”. I do not want to go out with your married friends and their husbands. All right.
At first it is understandable that behaves like this. But, out of love for yourself, you should not lock yourself in that attitude.
The rupture of a commitment produces much pain because it breaks a common project in which it has invested time, resources, hope and heart.
Today, life is very long and involves many changes: residence, work, mentality … and in many cases, as a couple.
If I try everything and nothing works, if there came a time when life with him and only in tears started and there are no smiles, if you could not stand the coexistence with that frog that will never become your prince, Wait for something better
It’s time to rethink your love life of closing wounds, understanding what has failed and knowing yourself better to become happy alone with a new partner.
A good way to start reviewing your ideas about love. The beliefs they have about what should be the relationship or marriage cause a deep disappointment when they do not correspond to reality, because in Western society is still equating romanticism with dependency.
Life is geared towards couples and families. On the contrary, there are many fears, prejudices and negative beliefs around singleness, especially when it comes to a woman.
Let’s dismount them without fear.
Belief 1. “Love is forever.” The studies assure that the phase of passionate love only lasts between 18 and 30 months. Having been converted into something else, no better or worse, but different.
The routines, the power struggles, the boredom… that can also be overcome to reach a deeper affection. It is a creative error that love can only be “bed and rapture” or “sneakers and remote control.”
Belief 2. “Love overcomes all obstacles”. Beautiful … but that requires a great and continuous effort. Or sea, that the two put of its part. Mature love is a state that we choose and requires work.
If there is no food, it is like a messy house. And by the way, do not believe that “Love is giving at all costs, without waiting to receive”.
False. If that is, sooner or later the resentment of invading and taking from you a fury that you do not know that could live in your interior.
Unconditional love is a precious idea, but hardly applicable to the life of a couple.
Belief 3. “There is only one true love.” If you believe in this, to the pain of the break you will have to add the misfortune that you will never be happier as a couple.
Horror! That many people do not live a second great love may be because they decide not to reopen or trust.
It is not easy to find someone special, so when it happens we can believe that we have found our unique and unrepeatable soul mate.
But beware. If in the first phase of the relationship we feel a deep union and only see the good of our partner, in the second the differences manifest and we fall from the cloud.
Belief 4. “If you love someone, you need to always be with that person”. Of course not. If you are unable to do anything alone is not love, but dependence. Be careful also if he is jealous and possessive.
If your man loves you, he will have a certain protective attitude towards you, but that behavior must always respectful. If he prevents you from going out, dressing up or seeing your male friends, respect shines through your absence.
Such attitudes often lead to maltreatment.