Happens that if it happened as narrated in the previous post, it is because you allow and some way to provoke. Everyone wants more for less, why the slogan of many products. And if you give your boyfriend increasingly more than yourself, for less than what he gives to you then you better! The happy. ‘Re saying you with actions that between less effort makes him, more effort to do you. NEVER DES MORE THAN WHAT YOU RECEIVE! Ever!
Between less flame, more flames you, they are less, invent more things to see, etc. What does say it all that? What to stop doing, you going to do for him, be comfortable and the trouble is that that doesn’t make it do what cute you are, but how desperate you are about to please him.
Where and when it ends this dynamic? It will be different for each couple, there will be those who spend decades as well, there will be those who end up badly and never to see, will be those who resolved it and have a happy ending. Can you solve it? Yes, but it has to be between the two. There has to be available to both sides, to listen to what the other wants and if giving him. The problem is that while you let things continue as they are nothing will change.
When something is as flawed as described in the previous post is needed to pause and take perspective. It takes time for that will be, not two days, weeks, and in those weeks assessing whether that person is what you want or if it is nothing but a whim, a power game that you want to win.
It can be that all this has been given from that do not have much that share, that last once honeymoon, the relationship had no elements to build. In a few words takes a while to see if the trees do not let you see the forest or if flat there there is nothing to rescue.
A friend (with regard to the last post) told me that her husband, when they were dating, Journal came to his house with a tootsie pop, until they one day arrived without tootsie and there was a mental tragedy for my friend. The days passed and one day she called him and he made her see that there was no tootsie, but there were many other more important things to that, she not had seen, by waiting for the tootsie. Sometimes say things help, but if you’ve already said them over and over again: distance. What I said and I repeat, actions speak louder than words. You need to distance or you’ve been waiting for your tootsie?
If your answer is that you do not know, you also need distance, perspective, it still enfrascada in lawsuits, claims and waiting calls and visits that not happen you can have, pause, don’t be afraid, if what they have is real pause is going to strengthen, if what they have is not real, does not exist, even though you aferres.
What is important is respect for what you want and not settle for less just because you are afraid. You can also be leaving spend wonderful people who are interested in you and not the time, waiting for your boyfriend, former or what is, to react and to peel you again.
And there is another very important thing, listen to your intuition, listening to your intuition. Listen to your intuition.
It was understood that you listen to your intuition? When you spend the angry with someone without apparent reason, almost always means that there are (many) hidden so that you are.
This weekend I did cleaning of all the tilichero that one is saved and I found the letters that I sent my boyfriend when he was 21 years old (I) when he went to the master – yes I am of the era in which even us we mandábamos letters with stamps and all – and I discovered something very interesting:
This relationship ended about 15 years ago and since then (even from that were) I had the idea that he was very dry, not loving or expressive. I remember when receiving these letters that I read during the week… I was frustrated thinking that they were very dry, as pa his buddy or your friend, not for his girlfriend. Now that read them as if they had been written for someone else (as were because I am someone very different now) I realized that it was very loving, very loving, clear that they were not letters to his friend, I said very nice things. For some reason always I was angry with him and feeling that you nothing was enough. He was right, the man turned out to be gay and I walked with him two years of my life, for not listening to my intuition that something was very wrong.
No way I would suggest that those who go through something similar with someone are gay, only to suggest that something may be very bad and not what you wanted to see. You’ve not taken the time to see it. Do it.
