Surely love is a feeling like no other. Everything around us is wonderful, our partner is perfect and we are elated, but what happens when time passes and that feeling disappears and is no longer so perfect that person.
Some time ago a friend gave me a book “Love with your eyes open” by Jorge Bucay (doctor, psychotherapist and author of several successful works) which I found quite interesting. Here through a story and his partner Jorge Bucay Silvia Salinas made a reflection on the sense of being a couple and the true meaning of love.
The conclusion we draw is that we all need to create us a mask to protect the outside world, to hide our weaknesses and thus be accepted and loved by others. But at the same time also hide our true selves and have just identified with that mask we create.
What happens when we fall in love? So unconsciously we are liberated from the shield or coat and showed us just as we are facing each other, this causes the feeling of exhilaration and liberation. But the time for fear of being rejected by the other person does not say what we really think or act like we would actually creating that shell again. All this turns into frustration and reflect on our partner is thinking that the other party is closed in the relationship.
Interestingly, it is studied, that when we do this “move” the problem the other person see that away from us (no more than a projection of how we move ourselves), then we also put through land .
For example, a woman who is afraid of being abandoned, every time you feel that your partner is away a little reproaches saying: Do you see how I do not want, you always leave me alone?. If at that time he was taking a little distance on a temporary basis, making these accusations is that it reinforces that attitude he took at the time, is overwhelmed and eventually leave.
Simple as that to end it always happens the same and that neurosis is always ends with the abandonment confirmed.
People shape their relations with an idea of what will happen and behave as if this was really happening until they get it to happen.
It is true that a couple has to agree on everything to be compatible, simply to show no fear as you are, accept your partner as it is and not try to change it because maybe if you change that you do not like to like to stop the everything.
In summary, the acceptance of the couple that makes us free and happy at the same time.