Holding someone by your side by force is not ideal and in most cases, it is not possible either. However, there are 4 things we can do to make sure that we have done everything possible to return to the being we love.
If we analyze the love ruptures, a large number of these are caused by errors of omission or commission of both parties. Even if one of the two may have made more mistakes than the other, both are responsible to some degree for the failure of the relationship. The important thing now is not to focus on the mistakes already made, but to make the right decision and if you are sure you want to go back to it, then follow these 4 steps.
1. If one day you had it, you can have it again
From time to time I observe my family from the outside and think about the lack of logic when it comes to love. I was born thousands of kilometers away from the place where I live now. I am an only child and even in my wildest dreams when I was a teenager I would have imagined that my life was going to be the way it is today.
We dream of finding that man who will love us for the rest of our lives, having no idea where he is, who he is, what makes him happy, who his family is, how he loves, what his dreams are, and how to find him.
Until one day appears in our lives with a past that has not included us for a second, and we want, as if by magic, our lives are coupled and work like two pieces of a puzzle.
If he loved you one day, chances are he can love you again, but the first thing you should do is analyze if it’s really worth it. Loving someone unfortunately is not the only ingredient for a couple to work, the more opposed they are, the more you must work so that the pieces fit together. The question you must ask yourself is whether all the work that implies that your relationship works is a price that you want to pay for the rest of your life.
Accepting that we are not compatible with someone is terrifying. «You are afraid of losing control,» one of my best friends told me. And I would never have seen it like that, but losing someone or recognizing that it did not work is losing control of your life and it’s scary, but sometimes it’s necessary.
2. The more you throw the less you will loosen
If you feel that the mistakes of the two have led them to the place where they are today and if they have a second chance what they have learned from this experience will help them to be a stronger couple, then you have to do the hardest and with less logic that you have done: Let it go.
When a human being wants to get away from someone, the worst thing we can do is try to hold them back by force at that moment. When someone tells us that they do not love us or that the relationship must end, our world collapses, and we enter a state of panic that clouds all possible reasoning.
«We lost control» and are willing to do whatever it takes to get our life back under control. We call, we send text messages, we beg, we cry, we beg, we devalue, we delete their phone number to not call them, we use social networks to know what they are doing, and the only thing we achieve with this is that they confirm that they get away from you It was a success.
Nobody in history, has won someone back in this way, not for the right reason, perhaps because of pity, but pity is not love and in the long run or short you pass the bill. If you want him to return to your life, go with his. Disappear from the face of your world, do not call, do not look for it, do not manipulate situations to find it, control what you can control, which is yourself.
3. Before putting the oxygen mask on someone else, you should put it on
It is important that you know that the only thing you can control in life is yourself, there is absolutely nothing else you can control, however, we always tend to want to control everything else and we forget the most important person.
When we fail in love we lose control simply because we did not have it, most of us do not know ourselves, do not know what is your favorite poem, your favorite color, your favorite activity, etc. We spend our lives trying to make others happy and forget about us, forgetting how to be happy for ourselves.
While you are out of the world of the man you love, use that time to rediscover yourself, discover what really makes you happy, use the time to love yourself, take care of yourself, respect yourself and above all to understand and learn that nobody in the world is worth more than you, because if you are no longer there, you can not help anyone either.
4. The satisfaction of having done everything in your power for the opportunity to love him again
Take a paper and a pencil or a computer, put your name up and write everything (and I mean everything) what you would like to say if you had it in front of you. Do not stop, or re-read the sentences, follow though grammatically it does not make sense, just concentrate on that everything you want him to know is on that piece of paper.
When you finish it, do not read it, save it in a place you do not have access to daily, take a deep breath and thank yourself for believing in love, for being able to love someone almost more than you, for being the great woman you are and leave things to time.
«I know I will never be able to love someone else again», were the words that spelled out a letter that I wrote when I was 18 after a break, after my grandmother told me to write everything I felt on paper.
I loved again and the world kept turning. I promise you that whatever happens, and although today you can not believe it, your world will also continue and your happiness will be at the end of this tunnel.