Who has not suffered or witnessed a breakup? And of those we have lived or witnessed, how many were led by frustration or defeat?
How many struggled against a resounding, against the inevitability of a breakup in the hope of fixing and returning to the point of return? What can we do to not get here?
It is true that in many cases «a no» can be fixed; Other «noes» are forever, but in some cases a «no» no resounding of our ex-partner can be spoiled by our anguish.
Lack of control and wanting to have a prompt response; As it may need only a time to breathe. And it is that sometimes that pressure is what pushes the other to make the final decision of «no».
Partner conflicts like any conflict in this world of humans can have a solution.
Activating the solution requires commitment and will, requires willing and doing, giving and understanding. A breakup can be the departure of one of the couple’s members to a situation that from their point of view is unbearable.
Even in many cases it can be more an intake of oxygen than a real abandonment.
The point is that normally there is an active part and a passive part, that is, a part that wants such separation and activates all the measures for it to be given and a passive part that neither wants it nor wants it.
Not being the active part of the decision is suffering less, nor for being the passive part is to be to blame for such separation.
When we talk about rupture and this is not due to third parties, we must make self-criticism no matter how much we weigh, despite having tried to do things well, possibly in many cases, we have been wrong, we will have judged and we will have provoked without Want unsustainable situations.
What to do?
There are many tips that can be given so that these situations do not reach a point of no return like:
– Do not impose but dialogue, reach a consensus. Stop struggling to see who is right, but rather explain our motives or logic. Focus more on the present and not remember past conflicts, much less put them as examples.
– Understand that it is normal not to agree with something, seeing this more as a challenge to look for points in common, than as a conflict.
– Strengthen our partner with details for the efforts he makes to improve the relationship or coexistence.
Little details, a kiss, a hug, a caress, a love, a smile or a moment of attention can become more important and more powerful than the great actions destined to ingratiate ourselves.
– If we are to criticize something that we do not like, it is better to direct ourselves to the behavior than to the person, that is, to show what he has done that we do not like more than to use reproaches or personal derogatory qualifiers. Respect is essential for good living together.
– In the face of violent situations, take a prior and dialogical decision as a pact to leave the situation to think for a long time and look for creative ways of solving the problem, and once more relaxed try a more reflexive and patient dialogue, Understand and yield both, to win.
– Strive to listen, looking into the eyes, trying to understand their world, their vicissitudes, their concerns and their fears
– Look for activities in common and take back that timeshare and that for both were grateful. Accept the dynamism of the relationship without trying to be a copy of the beginnings.
– To trust and also give the couple their own time, do not drown it with calls or messages, and respect their own space. Freedom is the seed of true love.
– And above all, give yourself some time for yourself, where your partner is not, where you remember who you are and why one day that person fell in love with you. Love yourself!