Although it may not seem so at times, we are rational beings. And if sometimes it does not seem to be because when the anger invades us, the mind is clouded to us and perhaps what comes out of our mouth is not the most appropriate to solve our problems of couple.
Problems Of Couple.. We may vent for a brief period of time, but in the long run, we will end up causing serious havoc in our coexistence.
And it is not that we do not know how to treat our partner, but in those critical moments we lose what precisely should be more important, common sense.
You know what the nice new saying proverb says: «Do not argue with a fool, because it will first make you go down to your level and then you will beat with your experience.»
Something similar can be applied to the world of relationships, in which we must avoid being dragged into the spiral in which the other person seems to have fallen.
Rather than counterattack more and more strongly, it may be smarter to rescue our partner from his own stupidity and help him keep his head cool.
Or, if this is not possible, keep the following advice in mind the next time the subject is about to get out of hand.
Remember Ockham’s Knife – Problems Of Couple.
The English Franciscan friar Guillermo de Ockham illuminated what would later be known as the principle of parsimony, which goes on to say that under equal conditions, the simpler theory is more likely to be correct than the complex one.
This comes as we begin to build castles in the air and to attribute unsuspected causes to our partner’s behavior.
Probably the simplest explanation is the true one, and if you have forgotten to call you, it is because you have really forgotten it, not because you were quoted with your lover in a hotel on the outskirts of the city.
Why are you angry? Problems Of Couple.
Try to answer that question and discard the first answer: in many cases, surely what has infuriated you is not the object of the discussion that is being maintained, but another reason more profound or perhaps a very specific problem that has not yet been solved .
In other cases, not even your partner will be to blame for your anger, but this may have been caused in another area (work, family) and it is she who is paying the dishes.
Stop and let the other person explain yourself
It is not only a matter of counting up to ten between exabruto and exabrupto, but also in letting the other person explain himself and present his version of the facts before your accusations.
This may prevent an increase in voltage to a point of no return and solve the problem without raising the pitch or bring up other issues.
Our mind works faster than our language, and sometimes a simple conversation without raising the voice serves to turn the shadows into light.
Problems Of Couple – Review your arguments
Many people begin to argue with a clear idea in their head about what they have to say, especially if it is they who begin the confrontation.
Since we know the lesson so well, it may be necessary to review our argument before pronouncing it aloud and, in that way, to check if what we suggest is true or if it is a mere ploy to make our partner feel bad. If so, it may be preferable to swallow our words.
Do it at the right time.
To properly discuss something that bothers us, we also need to know when to do it. The worst moment is, of course, when the tension is about to explode or in the midst of an interminable cross of accusations, when the emotions make us air those annoying dirty rags that every couple has.
But perhaps it is also not appropriate to take advantage of the good romantic roll to bring to light the little problem that happened a month ago and that until then we had not dared to comment…
Problems Of Couple – Do not ask for what you can not give.
The stability of a couple relationship must be forged in the more or less symmetrical balance between the two members:
Before accusing the other person it may be appropriate to stop and think about whether we are in a position to demand something like this from the other person or whether it is preferable, for the sake of both, to overlook small details that in our case have also been passed for high.
An argument can not be won, only lose
What is the end of any discussion of a couple? To exchange expletives until one of the two gives up and, convinced, ask forgiveness to his partner and accept that this is absolutely right and nothing but reason?
Or simply to make him understand that one of his behaviors has bothered us and that in consecutive it is preferable to think twice before doing something like that again?
Recall that many people have won discussions, but in return, they have lost their partners.
Problems Of Couple – Feelings are not discussed.
The judicial system may be fallible at times, but the history of the laws has provided the human being with a series of rational and useful tools to solve their conflicts.
So perhaps it is not such a bad idea to take some of their advice and apply it to our life as a couple, as it is to focus on facts and not on speculation.
It is vital to remember that we may have some misunderstanding about future or past plans, but judging or anticipating their feelings will only make us wrong assumptions.
Problems Of Couple – Get on the other’s skin.
Appealing to empathy with the other person is one of the most common advice whenever a discussion arises, but rarely is it practiced strictly.
This means that it would not be wrong to think how we would feel ourselves if our partner spat on us what we have just reproached, if we are really fair in making such accusations and if it comes to story.
Because probably the answer will be negative.