«Help! How I can get back with my ex!» It’s what many of my clients say when I start therapy. After years of gradual deterioration in the relationship.
Is there any way at this time to save your relationship? If the person you love has definitely said «We’re done!» What can you do to get your ex back?
5 Steps to get back with your ex
1. Realize what is happening.
2. Make a list of all complaints about your ex.
3. Clean your actions.
4. Show him that you want to change.
5. Reconnect hard.
Let’s review these steps one by one.
Step 1: Realize what is happening.
You must track your reactions to current events of your life, the origin of past experiences can enable a person to identify what they felt then and now.
You can join a reading group, find a place for religious services that you like. Remember the sports activities that you used to practice in good times, and you used to enjoy doing those activities again again. Slowly lift your mood.
Looking for a cozy place to read and enjoy the time alone. Your loneliness, too, will begin to decrease to the point that some nights you prefer to stay home alone.
Step 2: Write the complaints of your ex partner.
Now you must decide better address the concerns of your ex, begins writing a list of everything that you could remember. «Information is powerful,» reminds all of yourself to alleviate the shame and guilt.
a. A puntoo here. Although it was just a one-night stand, you have to recognize that this action seriously violated the rules of your relationship.
b. Treat your partner as a person second ignoring most of the time and do not agree with everything he or she said when talking.
Step 3: Clean your actions.
a. Learn: Identify situational specific thoughts and feelings that triggered signals every misstep, and determines the alternative action you would take in the future in response to each signal.
For example, in the future, when traveling on business and you stay alone in hotels would be good to plan ahead what to do in the evenings: Call your girlfriend, work on your computer, read, watch your favorite TV programs.
If you know people in the lobby, and are women you can talk with them briefly and then say goodbye. Alcohol, private time with the women’s loneliness and a relationship at that time off is a dangerous combination.
c. Depressive reverie: Depression occurs when a person feels powerless in a situation. As you pass the feeling of helplessness to a problem solving approach is activated, depressive cloud begins to rise.
Step 4: Prove that you would change if you want to get back with your ex after.
Explicale as a result of your actions, you would maintain the relationship, you took the decision to radically change your behavior in the relationship.
Your job right now should be to look at what you can change, it is not the time to criticize or advise your ex. This simple change is one of the most powerful signals that pudes give your ex girlfriend, in fact, you’re going to behave much more appealing way.
Step 5: Reconnect from a strong position.
Because you feel better about yourself with your new habits and troubleshooting, talk to your ex girlfriend the way you did the first time they met. Your ex will be delightfully surprised.
Closing the question «How I can get back with my ex?»
You must learn about your skills through books and website. At the same time, you can find a therapist for guidance when you feel stuck and help you with ideas and change your subconscious.
Remember also that the therapy is almost always more powerful if the couple goes together an some sessions. When both are involved in a process of growth, the odds are shortened until the result is positive for both.
Finally, you can get back with your ex girlfriend?
Well maybe agree they need more time before making a final descision. She wants to be sure you can trust that your changes are going to be able to support those, and you of it too.
The panic you felt to fall in a devastating cascade has been replaced by the anticipation of a safer and sunnier future, if you actually end up together or separate end.
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